“I guess.” I finish braiding my hair to the side and brush on a little mascara.

“Let’s go have a good time,” Allie says. “Forget Zack. I like him…I really do. But it’s his loss.”

***

I hear the music blaring from Keller’s house before we even turn the corner to his street. His green, impeccably manicured front lawn is littered with seniors…and red cups. We have to park almost a half block away, because the street is lined with car after car.

The front porch is filled with guys I don’t know, but recognize from the football team. I’ve watched them practice as I ran the track, most of my attention focused on a certain quarterback, but the others still look vaguely familiar. Keller stumbles out the front door just as we approach. He must have started the partying a little before the party started.

“My two favorite ladies have arrived!” He chugs back the contents of his red Solo cup, tosses it over his shoulder and lunges at me and Allie. Taking each of us in an arm, he lifts us off the ground at the knees and carries us to the door as if we are feather light.

“Boys.” He calls the attention of the three large guys sitting at a table on the porch arguing over a game with cups and a ball. They turn and smile broadly. “Who’s got the bowl?” Keller gently sets us down.

A guy stands and extends a large glass fishbowl in our direction filled with keys. Allie shakes her head no.

“You in?” he asks me.

“Oh, I’m not driving,” I say, assuming he’s collecting the keys of drivers to ward off potential drinking and driving.

Key Collector smiles at me. He’s cute, in an oversized bear kind of way. He leans down, a wry grin on his face, and whispers in my ear. “It’s a key party. You put your keys in to decide who you’re hooking up with later.”

OH! “No thanks,” I feel the pink spread across my cheeks.

“That’s too bad. I’d love to pull your key.” He winks and walks away.

“Come on,” Allie yells over the music and grabs my hand, leading me away. I look back and find key party guy watching me and smiling.

Inside, the music is even louder. I feel the base thumping in the hollow of my chest and my heart speeds up to pump with the rhythm. There are people everywhere, some I recognize, others look a few years older. People sway to the music, a few couples are already splattered around the room in corners making out and groping each other.

There’s a card game going on in the kitchen and I think it might be strip poker since two boys are shirtless and one girl is looking worried and taking off her socks.

“What do you want to drink?” Allie yells over the music as we weave through the crowd toward the makeshift bar set up on the dining room table. I smile when I see the green bottle that reminds me of one of the few times I’d gotten drunk back in Texas with Ashley.

“Nothing for me. Thanks.”

“Are you sure?” I knew Allie was planning on drinking, we’d already talked about us walking home. It’s a nice night and I like to walk anyway.

“Yeah, I’m good.”

An hour into the party and I finally start to relax when there’s no sign of Zack. Drunks can be quite amusing to talk with when you’re sober. Allie and I settle in at a table in the yard where Keller is holding court, telling joke after joke. Sometimes he screws up the punch line, but those times he’s even funnier. One of the guys from the football team delivers a new, full cup and Keller knocks the entire thing back in one ridiculously large gulp.

Almost knocking the entire patio table over as he pushes himself away from the table, Keller stands and reaches his arms over his back, pulling his shirt off in one tug. Such a boy way to undress.

“Time for a swim,” he says with a mischievous smile on his face that makes me nervous. “What do you think, Nikki, you want to go for a swim?” He lifts me out my chair and into his arms, completely ignoring my protests.

“Oh my god, Keller. No!” I scream as he makes his way to the side of the large, rectangular in-ground pool.

He swings me back and forth as if he’s going to toss me in. “1, 2…3!” On three he swings me higher but doesn’t really let go. My heart pounds in my chest.

“Please, Keller. I can’t swim!” I lie, screeching my words.

“That’s okay, I’ve got you.” He grins and makes his way around to the low diving board. Standing at the edge, he jumps up and down with me still in his arms. After the second jump, he wobbles on the landing.

“Keller, please! You’re going to fall in.” I cling to his neck. With each bounce he loses his grip on me a little bit more.

Another bounce, followed by a barely salvaged landing, and I hear his voice.

“Put her down Keller,” Zack bellows, his tone clipped. I crane my neck behind Keller’s wide girth to see Zack standing at the edge of the pool.

Keller turns, looking to Zack and then me. He deliberates on his choices, then mumbles a few words before carrying me back to the patio. He sets me down next to Zack and walks away with a salute.

Zack looks at me for a long moment, “You okay?”

I nod.

He nods back, then walks away without looking back.

***

So maybe my solution to the discomfort I feel knowing Zack is around isn’t the smartest one. Reluctantly, I take the shot I’m offered and swallow it back. It burns going down and the effect is immediate. Although the instant effect may have more to do with the five beers I drank in the hour before the shots started flying.